6 Summer Wedding Trends We Need To Retire Betches

Once again, wedding season is upon us. Bring on the free cocktails, questionable hookups, and bridesmaid dress drama that comes with all things nuptials from May through September. Along with said wedding season is the absolute anarchy that reigns with summer wedding trends. Beachy everything, cacti, obnoxious footwear, and questionable headwear all seem to come out when the weather is at its most brutal. I mean, what’s a summer wedding without a lemonade bar, right guys? And everyone needs to be barefoot because the temperature is over 80 degrees and we’re just outside folk now, right? Wrong. There are ways to have a classy, cute, and true-to-you summer wedding without giving in to the absolute worst and most cliche summer …

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: Tamra Judge Calls Out Bad Edits Betches

So, this week’s Photoshop Fail is actually a little different. Because instead of calling out a celeb (or fake celeb) for their horrible mistakes that give away their personal mutilations, this one has already been done for us. As in, I don’t even need to find the photo because the subject of the bad editing found it and called it out herself. I was actually going to write a completely different article, but then I saw Tamra Judge, of Real Housewives of OC fame, post this. View this post on Instagram Did I hear it’s national bikini 👙day 🤷‍♀️ A post shared by Tamra Judge (@tamrajudge) on Jul 5, 2019 at 1:20pm PDT Take note, celebs. This is what fit looks …

You Actually Won’t Believe Which U.S. City Has The Most Cheaters Betches

looking at you, Jed)Ashley MadisonBefore we get to the goods, let me explain a little more. Ashley Madison created this list because, “Cool. So to sum it up, in the summer, people like to get drunk and bang strangers while their spouses sit at home unaware. Got it. Now let’s take a look at the cities where people are the most “uninhibited,” or “carefree,” or any other euphemism we can come up for I hope that you’ll notice that of the 20 cities in the “Cheating Hotlist,” FOUR of them are located in Florida. and I were just thinking we might have been , and perhaps we should stop saying things like “It’s not a state, it’s just a cesspool …

Twitter Is Obsessed With This ‘Choose Your Own Adventure’ Game About Beyonc Betches

finally é haters alike On Saturday, @CORNYASSBITCH started the, “Being BeyonceveryoneIf you’re a die-hard Beyoncfan, just the idea of working for her, even for a day—breathing her air, knowing her secrets, the chance of getting firsthand side-eye from Blue Ivy Carter herself—is enough to make you take this hypothetical thread more seriously than your actual job.    Being Beyoncé’s assistant for the day: DONT GET FIRED THREAD pic.twitter.com/26ix05Hkhp — Green Chyna (@CORNYASSBITCH) June 23, 2019 The thread then goes on through many other choices: which music to playwhere she should get ready, and whether or not she’d want to hang out with the West family (lol), to name a few. There are surprises throughout the experience (if you make it …

The Most Instagrammable Books To Read Summer 2019 Betches

and Vanity Fair, Marie Claire, Popsugar, The Act don’t Ayesha At Last The Perfect Son. told in two alternating time periods that come together at the very end, with a very big twist.  ‘American Royals’ By Katharine McGee You guys know I loved Katharine McGee’s series, and did not disappoint. Just in time for the 4th of July, American Royals is set in a world where the American Revolution never happened, and the U.S. is governed by a monarchy. There’s Beatrice, the next in line for the throne (and America’s soon-to-be first queen), who is perfectly composed and follows all the rules. Then you have troublemaker Samantha and her twin brother, Jeff. They all have to navigate typical young adult problems like …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: I Still Know Nothing About Latvia Betches

Sponsored by SkinnyPop This week on The Bachelorette, we’re welcomed back to Latvia, where apparently the men heard “European adventure” and thought “yes, I must pack my spring scarf.” Never mind that production chose to showcase the country’s beauty with drab shots of gnarled trees limbs and dead grass that could easily have been filmed in upstate New York in the dead of winter, but sure, bring out those pastels, boys! Tbh I’d rather see an hour of footage that includes these scarves than watch one more minute of Hannah and Chris Harrison’s impromptu therapy session like we endured last week. And we did ENDURE if the twitch that I developed in my left eye is any indication. Post-nude bungee …

Why Stassi Schroeder & Ariana Madix Are Winning ‘Vanderpump Rules’ Betches

For avid fans of Vanderpump Rules (hi), there have been few greater joys than watching the burgeoning friendship between Stassi Schroeder and Ariana Madix. They are, as Lisa Vanderpump once pointed out, two queen bees—two beautiful, sassy, blonde queen bees with devoted boyfriends and killer style. It wasn’t always so easy to see what they had in common: in the early VPR years, Stassi was on full-time duty wrangling the Witches of WeHo, while Ariana was just trying to get through her new bartending gig without being shanked by Kristen. But as time went on, Stassi and Ariana have revealed their true colors as boss bitches who take no sh*t and look out for their own. IMO, these two are winning VPR right now—in honor …

The Best Bachelorette Recap Youll Ever Read: Are We Actually In Purgatory? Betches

Sponsored by Skinny Pop Well, well, well, what do you know? Another Monday come and gone where instead of doing the laundry that’s been piling up on my floor and threatening to swallow my dog whole, I’m instead chained to my TV, investing what’s left of my time, energy, and life force into a woman who abuses her ability to wear a cutout dress. This is truly my cross to bear. Now, when last we left off, Hannah and the men had just landed in Scotland. Hannah and Mike went on their first one-on-one date, which was about as romantically stimulating as me trying to choose a grocery store. Then there was the group date where the men competed in …

The Saddest Celebrity Breakups Of All Time Betches

There’s nothing quite like getting far too invested in a celebrity relationship, am I right? The unadulterated joy you get from projecting your fantasies onto total and complete strangers. The inexplicable rush upon seeing photos of them on a red carpet, looking better than you probably will in your whole life. The perverse satisfaction derived from “insider news” from “trusted sources” that definitely wasn’t planted by either of their publicists. It’s one of the simple, incredibly invasive pleasures of living in the 21st century. But as the saying goes: celebrities, they’re just like us! Which means their relationships fail, even though we swore this time they wouldn’t. Except what’s different here is that the entire world watches and interjects their …

Bella Thorne And Mod Sun Are Feuding On Twitter Betches

As a dedicated follower of Bella Thorne’s crazy life, I don’t like to go too long without writing about her. Luckily, the drama in her world basically never stops, and here we are again. Bella Thorne and Mod Sun  broke up earlier this year (the smell is still lingering), but her Instagram announcing the split made it seem like things ended on good terms. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Now Bella and Mod are feuding on Twitter, and this is one of the most important things that’s ever happened to me. It all began on Tuesday night, when Mod Sun spoke to TooFab. He told them that things are going great for him and he’s 17 days sober, …

6 Celebrities Who Do Unnecessary Instagram Ads Betches

It’s nothing new for celebrities to endorse products in exchange for large amounts of money. From the earliest days of radio, print, and TV advertising, famous people have done sponsorships with literally every product imaginable. But in the past few years, the rise of social media, particularly Instagram, has given way to a new model of celebrity endorsements. Now, anyone with more than a few thousand followers is considered an influencer, and their posts are up for grabs to the highest bidder. Naturally, people who are already famous are especially appealing to brands, and even many of the biggest names aren’t above a little #Spon here and there. But not all sponsored posts are created equal. Whether the brands they’re …

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: Cold, Shiny, Hard Plastic Betches

Hello friends, welcome to Photoshop Fail of the Week, and another Kardashian/Jenner fail, because THEY ALWAYS GIVE ME MATERIAL. Sorry, it’s just the way it is. Also their edits are sooo unnecessary and so funny. Between the world’s best surgeons, makeup artists, photographers, and trainers, MUST they, MUST THEY continue to edit? They’re all mostly cyborgs at this point and yet a realistic flattering photo is still not good enough? Come on, man. Today is a super weird edit by @s_moda 🖤 A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Apr 19, 2019 at 5:19pm PDT She looks gorgeous, that’s for sure. Her makeup is flawless. Whoever did the edit paid attention when they cut her out for the white background. …

Lisa Rinna Is Dragging LVP For A Good Reason Betches

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (or any of the Real Housewives shows, for that matter), but I still consider myself somewhat of an authority on all things LVP. Okay, not all things. Most things. Some things? Whatever. In any case, I know enough to feel like I can write about her with some degree of credibility. (I set a very high bar for myself.) If you read my Vanderpump Rules recaps, you’ll know that in the second part of the season 7 reunion, I came at Lisa for being a fake ally to the LGBTQ community, with an emphasis on the T. The reason? She all but strong-armed Billie Lee into admitting on camera that the Vanderpump Rules gang was supportive of her being trans. …

This Is Why Your Closed Facebook Groups Went Secret Today Betches

Ask any millennial about their favorite social media platforms, and they’ll tell you Facebook is largely dying out. It’s basically all fear-mongering and your relatives doing embarrassing sh*t on there, anyway, with the additions of political rants nobody asked for and people you haven’t spoken to since high school trying to sell you stuff you don’t want or need. What a fun place! It’s no wonder we’re all flocking to Instagram. Facebook’s one saving grace, though? Facebook groups. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, you probably think I’m some middle-aged loser. Let me tell you, Facebook groups are secretly where it’s at—they are these fun little communities (minus the hateful, racist, right-wing ones—those are terrible and scary) …

7 Famous TV Couples That Should Have Never Ended Up Together Betches

So we’re all in agreement these days that we would rather binge watch shows and act like the characters are our real-life friends rather than engaging with society, right? Okay, cool. Glad I’m not the only one. Since we all have emotional investments in television shows even though these characters really should have no bearing on our day-to-day lives, I thought I should indulge this toxic mentality by talking about couples from beloved TV shows that should never have ended up together. God, I have way too much time on my hands. All of these couples are considered iconic, but I’m going to tell you why their relationships at best, wouldn’t work, and at worst, are straight-up toxic. Go ahead, …

Scott Disick Doesn’t Have A Wikipedia Page So We Wrote Him One Betches

Okay, so it’s been brought to my attention that for some godforsaken reason, Scott Disick doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Even Rob Kardashian has one, and he’s best known for…um, selling socks. How can one of the best characters on KUWTK and the most salacious riotmaker of the tabloids not have a Wikipedia page? Since Wikipedia helped us graduate high school (and, let’s be honest, college), we decided to do them a solid and make a page for Scott. Check out the SparkNotes version of Scott Disick’s life (with some opinions thrown in, obvi). “Career” Reality Star Let’s not act like Kourtney was involved with Scott for so long because she was in love with him. I mean, he got …