‘Vanderpump Rules Recap’: Krazy Kristen Is Back Betches

We open back up at SUR with Guillermo’s meeting, which we already saw last week. I’ll just copy and paste my account from last week’s recap: Guillermo is like, “I don’t need a DJ, I need a bus boy, but James keeps f*cking it up.” YIKES. Mans is SALTY. Get him some tequila and lime. Before getting up from the table he’s like “oh yeah and BTW I’m still looking for a DJ.” What about DJ Mickey? You mean Mickey isn’t killing it on the 1s and 2s during Spicy Tequila Tuesdays? James bursts into tears and Peter is just like “kill me this is so awkward get me tf outta here.” RT, Peter. So James is DJing at Pump…so basically …

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: The One Where The Gang Goes To Therapy Betches

Lisa rolls up to SUR (or Pump?) slightly hungover, just like me when I’m hungover: insisting I only had two drinks when video evidence suggests very much the contrary. In other words, me on Sunday night and again Monday morning! No personal questions, please. The only thing that ruins this scene is knowing that Lisa pronounces Ibiza “eye-bee-tha”. Ugh. She probably studied abroad there one time in 1960. Kristen: Whether Lisa likes it or not, I’m part of the SUR family. So it’s easier if she just invites me. So Carter and Kristen are fighting. Oh I guess their relationship isn’t perfect and she’s not completely sane and well-adjusted. COLOR ME SHOCKED. Brittany and Jax go to their engagement party …

Nany Talks Why She Returned To ‘The Challenge’ & The Drama We Will See Betches

The Challenge: War of the WorldsNany Gonzalezright MarieIt feels so good to be back. Honestly, I definitely needed the time off. Away from reality TV, The Challenge, all that. But it feels really good to be back. And to see the social media and all the support that I’ve had It’s really humbling and I’m really excited to be a part of this show. Why did you take time off and what have you been doing? Sunday with my main chick ✨ @maceemua @spaderma_medspa #spadermawestloop #chicagomedicalspa #medicalaesthetics #sundayfunday A post shared by Nany Carmen González (@nanycarmen) on Dec 30, 2018 at 8:53am PST What made you come back? Did you just miss it? The Challenge I’m back on @MTV tonight✨ …

Why I Spent Nearly $2,000 To Try To Have My First Orgasm Betches

I wanted to come, and I became increasingly pissed that I hadn’t. I was ready to drop some serious dollars to experience this abstract, apparently transcendent sensation. As the saying goes, “There’s no such thing as a free orgasm.” I’m here to confirm that: coming ended up costing me nearly $2,000. I present to you: an itemized receipt for my first orgasm. I’m 22, still not concerned that I haven’t come yet. At this point, the solution seems as simple as buying a vibrator, any vibrator. I go to Good Vibrations in Boston with some friends, giggle a lot, and buy a vibrator that looks sleek and modern because aesthetics are important to me. My friend says, confidently, “You’ll come …

Embarrassing Videos From The ‘Pump Rules’ SURvers’ Pasts Betches

Between the drink throwing, the cheating, and the verbal lashings these people dish out and take each week, the Vanderpump Rules cast has turned reality television into an art form. It almost makes us forget that they first flocked to Los Angeles to, ya know, follow their dreams of acting and modeling. These people have so, so, SO much to be ashamed of based off their show alone, but there’s even more shameful stuff in their past. Let’s take a look at the highlights of their slightly less embarrassing, hilariously underwhelming iMDb pages and lackluster portfolios before they became reality show riot-makers. I honestly have no idea what’s going on in this trailer, so I really feel compelled to watch …

Valentine’s Day Movie Options On Netflix Betches

I have to be honest, I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day person. It probably stems from spending 19 Valentine’s Days as single as it gets. But regardless, I now have a boyfriend (yay me) and have no excuse to shove my face with chocolates and cry alone in my bedroom every day of the year on February 14th. But even if you’re ~boo’d up~ Valentine’s Day kind of blows. You need to get gifts and shave your legs, and it’s a whole production I’m just not so down for. But staying in and watching the best Valentine’s Day movie with your SO doesn’t sound half bad. So I’ve done the research of rounding up the best romantic movies on Netflix to watch with …

Diggy Moreland’s ‘Bachelor’ Recap: I’ve Seen Disney Movies With More Action Betches

Colton starts the episode with the usual Skype session with himself wondering why everyone keeps telling him that people are there for the wrong reasons. I mean, do you think these girls actually want to be married? They are there to secure FabFit Fun box deals, free Coachella tickets, and nothing more. ABC realizes that it has tapped out its Amazing Race-like budget so they head back to the states and land in Denver. Jaywalking around the town, Colton runs into Ben Higgins at what must be the soft opening of the newest coffee shop in town, because no one is there. At this point, I’m thinking this is where ABC has thrown in the towel on Colton and is …

The Cold Is Making You Psycho: Weekend Horoscopes February 1-3 Betches

The cold is making everybody crazy this weekend, even people who live outside the polar vortex’s icy pull. This weekend, everyone could benefit from checking and double checking their decisions. “Am I doing this because it’s a good idea, or am I doing this because I’m cold and pissed off?” These are questions you should be asking yourself. Taurus Don’t sleep on your impulses this weekend, Taurus, because they’re likely to point you in the right direction. The planets are aligned for big things to kick off in your life, but it can’t happen if you just stay in and watch Catwalk on Netflix (again). Do an inventory of this weekend’s events and go to the one that speaks to …

Is Your Haircut A Good Idea Or Cry For Help? A Stylist Weighs In Betches

Bob/Lob Good Idea: Where it takes a real f*cking turn is when you get too round and bubbly with it. We do not want any bowl cuts happening here. This tragic look, also known as the mom bob, basically screams “I’m 36, my name is Linda, I comment hearts on Reese Witherspoon’s Instagrams thinking she’ll see it and care, and I’ve started hiding the good wine from the kids.” View this post on Instagram Pixie Cut Good Idea: I know you might be traumatized from the pixie cuts of Kate Gosselin circa her TLC show or Jamie Lee Curtis à la Freaky Friday, but these are not the inspos you show your hairdresser. This Christmas, every second you dare to …

UPDATED: Ariana Grande’s New Tattoo Proves She’s All Of Us Betches

Stars—they’re… not like us at all, actually. They’re wealthier, better looking, and (sometimes) more talented at multiple things than most of us are at any one thing. That makes the temptation to relate to them both baffling and sensible at the same time. On the one hand, they’re impossible to relate to, but on the other hand, what fun is it to try to connect with someone who’s already like you? Yes Allisyn, it’s very cool that you’re trying intermittent fasting for the fourth time, but I’m more interested in Cardi B’s new Lamborghini. But if Ariana Grande’s new tattoo is any indication, sometimes it’s indeed possible for a celebrity to fall ass-backwards into relatability. As you may be aware, …

3 Instagrammable Winter Getaways To Take With Your Friends Betches

Much to the dismay of single people around the globe, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. The holiday gives the green light to couples to partake in romantic dinners, excessive PDA, and dry humping in the corner of da’ club (pls don’t). This year, why not escape the chaos with a Galentine’s Day trip with your single friends? We rounded up three great options—perfect to escape Cupid, his stupid arrow, and your annoying friends who are coupled up. Even if you can’t get your sh*t together in time for Galentine’s Day, these destinations make for amazing getaways during any season—but especially during winter. Oh, and by “getaways” we mean “Instagrams”. Namaste, Nah…I’m Gonna Go To Hawaii There is no …

Kylie Jenner’s House Is Basic, And So Is She Betches

Architectural Digest Architectural Digest One theme that comes through the article is that Kylie Jenner, despite having a mansion filled with thousand-dollar bespoke furniture, is actually so relatable. Is there anything more insufferable than being rich, famous, and artificially gorgeous, and yet still insisting you are like us regular people who don’t have mini Lamborghinis for our one-year-old daughters and unlimited access to lip fillers and, oh yeah, a f*cking custom-designed mansion to live in? No. And yet, celebrities insisting they are just like us is a common narrative that we see so often, to the point that it’s become some celebs’ entire persona. Think Jennifer Lawrence circa 2012. That sh*t got old, didn’t it? And Kylie Jenner, someone who has been …

Foods Not To Eat On A Date %pagesepsitename%%

If you’re heading out for a nice dinner with your sort-of-bae-but-doesn’t-know-he’s-my-bae-yet this Valentine’s Day, or you’re going on a first date with a guy your friends found from you on Ship, there are a few things to avoid. Sorry, but “be yourself” really only applies to displaying accurate and recent photos on your dating app profile. Otherwise, dating is a delicate dance where you try to put your best face forward even though you blacked out the night before and are struggling to keep your eyes open—metaphorically speaking of course. So, like I said, there are things you’re going to want to steer clear of on a date. First, don’t bring up anything you’re likely to fight about (politics, religion, …

Jussie Smollett Speaks Out After Horrific Attack Betches

On Tuesday, it was reported that Empire actor Jussie Smollett was viciously attacked in an apparent hate crime in Chicago. As we previously reported, the alleged attackers hit him in the face, reportedly shouted, “This is MAGA country,” poured an “unknown substance” all over him (which has been suspected to be bleach) and tied a rope around his neck. Smollett transported himself to the hospital after suffering injuries. Since the news broke, fans, celebrities, and activists have vocalized their support for Jussie and their condemnation of the alleged attack. what happened to jussie makes me really fucking sick to my stomach. i can’t believe shit like this is really still happening everyday. what kind of world ? sending all of the healing energy …

Bekah M’s Baby is Here! Betches

Bekah was inducedE! Online #nopicturesplease A post shared by Grayston Leonard (@pipyopi) on Feb 4, 2019 at 5:04pm PST As a refresher, Bekah competed on Arie’s season of The Bachelor, aggressively courting a man that was old enough to be her father and yet stupid enough to answer that “excitement” was what made him excited to be alive. We all thought she was a shoo-in for Paradise, but turns out that being knocked up puts a real damper on the binge drinking/sleeping with fellow fame whores/eating shellfish Paradise fun. Arie is now expecting his daughter with Lauren B to arrive fresh off the assembly line at the fembot factory sometime in June. I can’t wait for these two children to …

I Asked Guys Why They Ghosted Girls They Were Dating Betches

This article isn’t here to sh*t on ghosting or call you a horrible person because everyone (*cough cough* me) has done it at some point, and sometimes it’s justifiable to switch out of your classes and, um, order Seamless for a month to avoid all possible contact with a guy you no longer want to see. Right. Moving on. If you’re like me and have to find an explanation for LITERALLY everything, then you probably lie in bed at night and think wtf what wrong. Because I was curious, I asked a bunch of my guy friends about why they ghosted girls. So here are your answers, ladies! *Spoiler alert* it’s definitely not you. “I don’t want to close the …