The Saddest Celebrity Breakups Of All Time Betches

There’s nothing quite like getting far too invested in a celebrity relationship, am I right? The unadulterated joy you get from projecting your fantasies onto total and complete strangers. The inexplicable rush upon seeing photos of them on a red carpet, looking better than you probably will in your whole life. The perverse satisfaction derived from “insider news” from “trusted sources” that definitely wasn’t planted by either of their publicists. It’s one of the simple, incredibly invasive pleasures of living in the 21st century. But as the saying goes: celebrities, they’re just like us! Which means their relationships fail, even though we swore this time they wouldn’t. Except what’s different here is that the entire world watches and interjects their …

Bella Thorne And Mod Sun Are Feuding On Twitter Betches

As a dedicated follower of Bella Thorne’s crazy life, I don’t like to go too long without writing about her. Luckily, the drama in her world basically never stops, and here we are again. Bella Thorne and Mod Sun  broke up earlier this year (the smell is still lingering), but her Instagram announcing the split made it seem like things ended on good terms. Alas, all good things must come to an end. Now Bella and Mod are feuding on Twitter, and this is one of the most important things that’s ever happened to me. It all began on Tuesday night, when Mod Sun spoke to TooFab. He told them that things are going great for him and he’s 17 days sober, …

6 Celebrities Who Do Unnecessary Instagram Ads Betches

It’s nothing new for celebrities to endorse products in exchange for large amounts of money. From the earliest days of radio, print, and TV advertising, famous people have done sponsorships with literally every product imaginable. But in the past few years, the rise of social media, particularly Instagram, has given way to a new model of celebrity endorsements. Now, anyone with more than a few thousand followers is considered an influencer, and their posts are up for grabs to the highest bidder. Naturally, people who are already famous are especially appealing to brands, and even many of the biggest names aren’t above a little #Spon here and there. But not all sponsored posts are created equal. Whether the brands they’re …

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: Cold, Shiny, Hard Plastic Betches

Hello friends, welcome to Photoshop Fail of the Week, and another Kardashian/Jenner fail, because THEY ALWAYS GIVE ME MATERIAL. Sorry, it’s just the way it is. Also their edits are sooo unnecessary and so funny. Between the world’s best surgeons, makeup artists, photographers, and trainers, MUST they, MUST THEY continue to edit? They’re all mostly cyborgs at this point and yet a realistic flattering photo is still not good enough? Come on, man. Today is a super weird edit by @s_moda 🖤 A post shared by Kylie (@kyliejenner) on Apr 19, 2019 at 5:19pm PDT She looks gorgeous, that’s for sure. Her makeup is flawless. Whoever did the edit paid attention when they cut her out for the white background. …

Lisa Rinna Is Dragging LVP For A Good Reason Betches

I don’t watch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (or any of the Real Housewives shows, for that matter), but I still consider myself somewhat of an authority on all things LVP. Okay, not all things. Most things. Some things? Whatever. In any case, I know enough to feel like I can write about her with some degree of credibility. (I set a very high bar for myself.) If you read my Vanderpump Rules recaps, you’ll know that in the second part of the season 7 reunion, I came at Lisa for being a fake ally to the LGBTQ community, with an emphasis on the T. The reason? She all but strong-armed Billie Lee into admitting on camera that the Vanderpump Rules gang was supportive of her being trans. …

This Is Why Your Closed Facebook Groups Went Secret Today Betches

Ask any millennial about their favorite social media platforms, and they’ll tell you Facebook is largely dying out. It’s basically all fear-mongering and your relatives doing embarrassing sh*t on there, anyway, with the additions of political rants nobody asked for and people you haven’t spoken to since high school trying to sell you stuff you don’t want or need. What a fun place! It’s no wonder we’re all flocking to Instagram. Facebook’s one saving grace, though? Facebook groups. If you know, you know. If you don’t know, you probably think I’m some middle-aged loser. Let me tell you, Facebook groups are secretly where it’s at—they are these fun little communities (minus the hateful, racist, right-wing ones—those are terrible and scary) …

7 Famous TV Couples That Should Have Never Ended Up Together Betches

So we’re all in agreement these days that we would rather binge watch shows and act like the characters are our real-life friends rather than engaging with society, right? Okay, cool. Glad I’m not the only one. Since we all have emotional investments in television shows even though these characters really should have no bearing on our day-to-day lives, I thought I should indulge this toxic mentality by talking about couples from beloved TV shows that should never have ended up together. God, I have way too much time on my hands. All of these couples are considered iconic, but I’m going to tell you why their relationships at best, wouldn’t work, and at worst, are straight-up toxic. Go ahead, …

Scott Disick Doesn’t Have A Wikipedia Page So We Wrote Him One Betches

Okay, so it’s been brought to my attention that for some godforsaken reason, Scott Disick doesn’t have a Wikipedia page. Even Rob Kardashian has one, and he’s best known for…um, selling socks. How can one of the best characters on KUWTK and the most salacious riotmaker of the tabloids not have a Wikipedia page? Since Wikipedia helped us graduate high school (and, let’s be honest, college), we decided to do them a solid and make a page for Scott. Check out the SparkNotes version of Scott Disick’s life (with some opinions thrown in, obvi). “Career” Reality Star Let’s not act like Kourtney was involved with Scott for so long because she was in love with him. I mean, he got …

Are We Done Being Extra? Betches

Last night, not one, but TWO celebrities announced their pregnancies: Blake Lively, at the New York City premiere of Pokémon: Detective Pikachu, and Keira Knightley, at a Chanel cocktail party in Paris (très chic). Now, what was surprising about both of these pregnancy announcements was just that—they weren’t really announcements at all. There was not some big press conference or statement released, not even an Instagram of a sonogram with a long caption. It was just “Here I am, and oh btw, I am carrying a child.” I love it. In a time where we are inundated with celebrity “news,” when everything from a double tap on an Instagram post to an airport outfit spawns headline after headline, this non-announcement announcement is …

Paris Hilton Just Reignited Her Feud With Lindsay Lohan Betches

It doesn’t get more iconic than Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Just from saying those two names together, I’m instantly transported back to a time of low-rise jeans, tragic hair extensions, and passed-out starlets in the back of cars. Things were simpler back then. While we’ve moved on from the era of Von Dutch trucker hats, not all of the drama has been left in the past. There’s clearly still some bad blood between Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, and Paris has recently reignited their decade-long feud. I’m obsessed. On Tuesday night, Paris Hilton was a guest on Watch What Happens Live, and lucky for us, Andy Cohen got her to play Plead the Fifth. If you’re unfamiliar, Andy asks three uncomfortable …

Photoshop Fail Of The Week: F*cked Up Feet Betches

In my lifelong search for Photoshop fails, I was originally going to do a more recent photo, but then I found this one, and I was like, oh my God, how, why, etc. I can’t just let it go. It’s too weird and funny. In today’s effort to leave Khloé alone (for now), we’re going to explore the Kardashians as a whole. Except, even they cannot be blamed for this one. Because today’s Photoshop fail is definitely the work of a professional. And by that, I mean the really bad work of a professional. This fail goes way beyond regular FaceTune bullshit. It’s the Kardashian/Jenner 2018 Christmas Card. CHRISTMAS 2018. 📸 pierresnaps pic.twitter.com/TmwGeKS6QR — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) December 24, 2018 I …

I Was Sober At A Music Festival & This Is What It Taught Me Betches

So I was surprised as anyone to find myself, at 10pm on Friday night at Shaky Beats festival in Atlanta, as Rüfüs Du Sol closed out day one, dead-ass sober. I guess, in order to really get the full picture, I have to back up a bit. The year was 2018. The weekend was Labor Day. The festival was Electric Zoo, one of my favorite festivals that I have been going to for the past three or four years. (I have lost count at this point.) Every year, I tell myself that I’m not going to do too many interviews and I’m just going to enjoy the festival, and every year, all three days, I get sucked into doing an …

Everything You Need to Know About The Jenelle Evans/David Eason Dog Fiasco Betches

Teen MomTeen Mom 2Here’s what went down. Last week, David Eason, Jenelle Evans’ husband, purposefully shot and killed their French bulldog Nugget in North Carolina where they live. He now could go to jail for up to 4 months, which honestly seems like too little for such a vile act. Jenelle claimed he killed the dog because it was being aggressive toward Ensley, their 2-year-old daughter, and that she was seriously considering pressing charges against him for it (makes sense). I would press charges if someone gave my dog a weird look on the sidewalk, so David deserves whatever punishment is coming his way. A post shared by May 1, 2019 at 5:36am PDT “I dont give a damn what …

‘Game Of Thrones’ Recap: You’re A Virgin Who Can’t Drive Betches

I commend each and every one of you for making it back after the utter desolation that was the Battle of Winterfell. We’re all gluttons for punishment, but at least we’re in it together. While not as traumatic, this week’s episode still saw its share of death. Let’s pour one out for all that we lost last night: one dragon, three ships (the romantic kind), many ships (the boat kind), a good chunk of our collective lingering hope, and saddest of all, Missandei. This week started off strong with a recap from The Long Night that sparked a severe bout of PTSD and sent me sprinting to the kitchen for the wine that I told myself I’d save for at …

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: Playing The Penis Flute Betches

Last week, Beau felt battered, Schwartz’s check bounced, nobody wanted to come to Raquel’s puppy party, and Raquel doesn’t know who Charles Manson is (and presumably doesn’t have Google). I also want to take the time to say that while on the west coast, I visited both Sur and Pump! The drinks at Sur were good (I got a $7 vodka cocktail with muddled strawberries during happy hour, which would have regularly been $14), the goat cheese balls were very overrated, and the calamari was exactly what you’d expect from calamari. The decor was also impossibly cheesy and we sat next to a fake birdcage that existed for unknown reasons. At Pump, however, I got dinner (a burger—it did its …

UPDATED: WTF Is Going On With Lala Kent And 50 Cent?

This weekend, the internet has been abuzz, talking about one of the biggest, most important crossover events in entertainment history. Unexpected relationships have emerged, there have been mind-bending plot twists, and someone might not make it out alive. Overall, the stakes have never felt higher. No, I’m not talking about Avengers: Endgame, I’m talking about the epic social media feud of 50 Cent vs. Lala Kent and Randall Emmett. The feud first emerged out of nowhere on Friday, when 50 Cent posted a Vanderpump Rules clip on Instagram. In the video, Lala explains to Stassi how she met Randall and “let him hit it the first night,” and that after that he would buy her lots of expensive gifts. If you’re an avid VPR viewer, then …