4 Secrets Nobody Tells You About Applying To College Betches

In light of Loughlin-gate, colleges everywhere are being heavily scrutinized for how they admit students. Which, hi, they should be! I worked for a university’s admissions office for four years, and I was absolutely horrified by what these celebrities were able to get away with. *cue Grandpa voice* In my day, it didn’t f*cking work like that. Or maybe I just wasn’t aware of that part? In any case, if you don’t have rich parents willing to commit fraud, go to prison, and waste a quarter of a million dollars on you because you’re too stupid/lazy to do it the right way, let me help you out. I have some expertise in the area of applying to college that I …

There Was A Mini ‘Clueless’ Reunion, And We Have Questions Betches

It’s been almost 25 years since Clueless came out, which makes me feel like the oldest person on the planet. Lucky for us, the cast still gets along, and they reunited over the weekend at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo. Paul Rudd, Alicia Silverstone, Donald Faison, and Breckin Meyer sat down for a panel discussion together, and obviously everyone freaked out over it. At the panel, they reminisced about their days making Clueless, and Paul Rudd was also asked about his secret for literally never looking older. He said that it’s all due to “total darkness. And a little moisturizer,” while Breckin Meyer joked that he sucks the life out of babies. Honestly, I would try anything at this point to get …

I Grew Up With The Wealthy & ConnectedHere’s Why The College Scam Shouldn’t Surprise Anyone Betches

I’m a person who’s followed celebrity news since I was a kid (like, I had subscriptions to Us Weekly and PEOPLE in fourth grade), and even I did not anticipate the celebrity college admissions scandal blowing up like it has. When the news first broke, I was like, “Perfect. Now that Aunt Becky is relevant again, I can segue more easily into the story about how two women at Friendly’s said I was a dead ringer for her when I was 16.” Also, if we’re being honest, I would drop $500,000 just to not have to endure the embarrassment of having a child who unabashedly calls themselves a “YouTuber” and “influencer.” But beyond that, I was pretty unfazed about the …

‘Vanderpump Rules’ Recap: Yellow Robe Smith Betches

Anyway, this week we start right back in the middle of Schwartz and Katie’s argument. Schwartz calls Katie a “disaster of a human being” which isn’t a good thing to say to your wife but also isn’t a lie. And herein lies the problem: Schwartz asks Katie why she can’t just tell him that she’s upset, and her reply? “I don’t wanna have to tell you!” Look, Schwartz may know how to use the word “cacophony” correctly, but he’s no mind reader. Cut the poor dude a break. Kristen announces that this is going to be a freakout-free vacay, so I’m starting my stopwatch now to see how long it is before she blows a gasket. Anyone care to place …

7 Exercise Mistakes That Are Sabotaging Your Workout Betches

That’s why nine times out of ten, I’ll fork over the $40+ and just sign up for a bougie workout class where I can have an instructor tell me what to do, use the studio’s freebie dry shampoo and face wash, post proof I was there on my Insta story, and continue avoiding an actual gym like the plague. If you’re like me and want to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth of your fancy workout class, don’t make these exercise mistakes after you sign up, because you’re going to end up sabotaging yourself. 1. You’re Not Properly Fueling Before Class Never go to class on an empty stomach. You’ll be groggy, irritated, and maybe even a little hangry. …

Who Is Kylie Jenner’s New Best Friend? Meet Heather Sanders Betches

Now that it’s been a couple weeks since the drama of the Jordyn Woods/Tristan Thompson scandal, it’s time to start moving forward and see where everyone stands. As far as we can tell, Khloé Kardashian and Tristan are definitely not back together, thank God. Things with Jordyn are a little less clear, but there have been new developments in the past few days. Yesterday, there was a pretty big mix-up when reports circulated that Kylie Jenner was hanging out with Jordyn. In public. (Cue freakout.) What actually happened was that some grainy photos of Kylie out at brunch with another person surfaced, but it turned out that it wasn’t Jordyn in the pictures. I’ll get to that in a minute. …

Colton Just Spoiled The Ending Of ‘The Bachelor’ Betches

The BachelorBut still, for the five of you who haven’t figured out what’s about to go down, consider this your warning that spoilers are ahead, because I have confirmation of who Colton has chosen to play “just the tip” with for the foreseeable future. Again, spoilers ahead. Spoilers that you should have deduced if you have two brain cells to rub together, but spoilers nonetheless. literally f*cking said it on the show Colton, why are you being so sloppy? Colton:Last week, Colton was spotted leaving the gym with Gregg Sulkin and if I told you I didn’t Google “who is Gregg Sulkin” I would be lying to you. Apparently he’s a famous actor known for his work in and . …

NYC’s Most Instagrammable Events This March Betches

Let’s be honest, March is kind of a basic month. It’s not quite as synonymous with wintry death as February, but spring is still too far away to think about leaving your apartment on a regular basis. That being said, it’s important to maintain the illusion of a rich and full social life while leaving your couch as little as possible. So, here are four super Instagrammable events in NYC this March that should give you enough footage to make it to June. You’re so welcome. black out in commemorate the night. View this post on Instagram The Orchid Show Normally, I suggest avoiding nature at all costs (all it does is ruin your shoes!). But in this case, it’s …

How To Drink More Water & Stay Hydrated Every Day Betches

Whenever there is anything wrong with me, the advice I always get is “drink more water.” A headache? Drink more water. Hungover? Drink more water. Broken leg? Drink more water. I used to think that it was my doctor’s mom’s way of shutting me up and dismissing my symptoms. But seriously, water has a plethora (*flips hair*) of benefits. It really is that bitch. Who knew! The benefits of drinking more water include increased energy and brain power, flushing out toxins, promoting weight loss and management, improving your skin (bye bye pimples), and tons of others. Needless to say, if there is anything  wrong with you, drink more water. But it can be v hard, so here are some tips …

TV Shows From Your Childhood You Didnt Realize Were Empowering

That’s right, some of our favorite childhood shows made a legit and impactful effort to instill feminism in our young and impressionable minds so that we would be prepared to enter young adulthood with the betchy confidence of Angelica Pickles circa the early years. Let’s get to it.  ‘Rugrats’ View this post on Instagram ‘The Amanda Show’ The Amanda Show was SNL for ’90s babies. She was Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Maya Rudolph, Leslie Jones and Tina Fey all rolled into one sassy betch. Because Amanda played upwards of 800 different characters in countless sketches on this blessing of a television show (#MoodysPoint), I just don’t have the time to go into all of them, and I refuse to focus …

The Most Obvious Celebrity Photoshop Fails Ever Betches

Celebrities just cannot get enough of Photoshop. And by “Photoshop”, I don’t actually mean Photoshop, because none of them have a f*cking clue how to actually use Photoshop. Photoshop is a difficult software that requires a ton of time and classes to learn. My degree is in Digital Arts, so I know this sh*t. What I actually mean is, celebs can’t get enough of a crappy app that takes them about 10 minutes to really poorly manipulate or edit their photos. When in doubt guys, hire a pro (hi). My work is seamless. I could be a lizard woman for all you people know (but like, don’t tell). Celebrities trying to alter their photos is not necessarily anything new, but it is puzzling. Most …

The Best Bachelor Recap Youll Ever Read: Season 23, Week 8 Betches

Bachelordaddy issues Colton’s talking about what a struggle his journey has been as a white, conventionally attractive man who happens to be a virgin. The horror. He casually throws out Becca’s name and it’s literally the first time he’s mentioned her this entire season. Lol. I forgot he even dated her? How nice of him to start pretending for us he was ever into her. Moving on. First up is Caelynn’s hometown, and Colton travels to Virginia to meet up with her, which is confusing because for the last 8 weeks anytime anyone has accidentally breathed in her direction she’s humble bragged about being Miss North Carolina. Do we think Caelynn wears her “Miss North Carolina” sash around Virginia or …

The Best Bachelor Recap Youll Ever Read: Season 23, Week 7 Betches

BachelorblondeThe Bachelor,emotionally self-destruct This week the crew is headed to Colton’s hometown of Denver, and we know this because Colton talked about it when he recorded another sad, handwritten entry of his vlog. Seriously, what is with the home movie stuff here? ABC spends a disgusting amount of money on production every season and I feel like half of this season has been recorded on Colton’s iPhone. *chooses only hot blondes whose combined age is second semester college senior* ALSO COLTON: It’s a mystery, Colton! Cassie’s like “last week someone told Colton that there were girls here who aren’t ready to be married, which is so false.” Says the girl who is currently wearing a top from Forever21. Please. Spare me …

The Kardashians Have Begun Their Attack On Jordyn Woods Betches

It’s been a dramatic couple of days, but Jordyn-gate is far from over. Yesterday, I spent literally my entire day at work scrolling through Instagram laughing at all the Jordyn Woods memes, but she’s probably not laughing right now. Sources are saying that Jordyn is moving out of Kylie’s house and back in with her mom, which feels…correct. Jordyn has basically spent the last three years mooching off of Kylie, so it’s going to be a tough time now that she has to pay for her own sh*t. But the Kardashian family has never been into showing sympathy, so they’re wasting no time in beginning their public roasting of Jordyn Woods. The first to strike was Kourtney Kardashian, who posted …

Carrie Bradshaw’s Outfits: Where To Get Them Betches

I just want to say that the hardest part of writing this article was cutting down the number of outfits I was going to include. There are a lot of hardcore Sex and the City fans out there, and rightfully so, but don’t come at me in the comments, bro. I know I missed a f*ck ton of iconic lewks, because this is Carrie Bradshaw we’re talking about. The limit does not exist for how many times she slayed her designer clothes (and Manolos) that realistically, one could never afford on a freelance writer wage while living in Manhattan. (Let’s just say I speak from experience.) Although the show premiered over 20 years ago (are you feeling ancient yet?), viewers have …

‘Green Book’ Director Peter Farrelly Has A Gross Past You Need To Know About Betches

Last night was, as Tina Fey so aptly put it, the “1 millionth Academy Awards.” And before I dive into all the things I hate about Peter Farrelly, I want to reflect on the actual show. Before watching, I’d been planning on writing a piece on how little people cared about the Oscars this year. From the host drama to the onslaught of white male nominees, the Oscars have been more exhausting than exciting, and I was ready to declare the whole thing cancelled. Honestly, though, I had fewer complaints about last night’s show than I expected. Yeah, it was still boring—but this year, at least it seemed like they were trying to appeal to people below the age of …